Thursday, April 30, 2009

#997 Renting a movie and having the wrong movie inside

So after quickly ducking in to my friendly local Video Port and grabbing the latest Hollywood Blockbuster, I head back to my house where a group of friends are waiting. I arrive and they sigh in relief. I triumphantly open the case to throw the disc into the player and see that I'm actually holding a copy of "Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie." The night is ruined because of me.

#998 When someone depressurizes the swivel chair that you're sitting on

Two reasons why this sucks:
1. Now you're lower than everyone else.
2. It requires you to stand up to fix it--completely negating why you were in the chair to begin with.

What a prick.

#999 Grabbing a dirty cup instead of a clean one

You burst into the kitchen. It's a fiery inferno outside and the only thing you want more than eternal life is lemonade. After ripping the fridge door open and removing the pitcher, you reach for a glass on the counter that you thought just came out of the dishwasher. Right as you are about to pour, you notice milk residue on the bottom of the cup. Your thirst intensifies. Your day is ruined.

#1000 Dull Pencils

What's worse than when you just need to get that genius idea on paper and the good ol' #2 Ticonderoga has crumpled under the pressure? Nothing.

#1001 Having to spin the pedals around on a bike in order to start riding

You're out with your friends and you all decide to race bikes. As each person claims a bike, you climb onto yours. Your friends begin to ride away and you put your feet on the pedals and push. Nothing happens. You look down and realize that you need to adjust the petals in order to get a strong enough first pedal. You lost the race because of that.